Ok, so, a bit of honesty and vulnerability today…
I’ve decided not to write any big, official goals this year.
Since the last week of December, I sat down a handful of times trying to figure out something I’m really excited about achieving or something that I need to do to really push myself. Absolutely nothing came to mind.
Knowing that I thrive on accomplishing tasks and checking things off my to-do list (which is essentially how I treat my goals!)- I prayed to God for genuine guidance in my goals. Where did I need to improve? What could I do and add and change to make me a better wife, mom, coach, friend? I got nothing and didn’t feel even the slightest semblance of guidance in one direction or another. I was actually angry. How could God not want me to better myself? Fast forward to a week after praying and I still prayed for some guidance on my goals and I still felt nothing.
One afternoon, shortly after I sent my Mom some pictures of Hudson rolling around on the floor being all smiley and roly poly, she called me. Per the norm, I shared with her my daily dose of mom guilt: the fact that we waited almost 5 months into his life to buy and lay down a nice thick rug over the cold, hard concrete flooring in Hudson’s room. A rug that he now spends half of his day rolling, kicking, sleeping, reading and playing on and LOVES. As I ramble on about my guilt, Mom is always very quick to cut me off and insist that I should not feel guilty. On this particular day, though, she helped me realize something much more than that. After a few more reminders that I should not be beating myself up about a handful of other things, I realized God was speaking through my mom. I finally had an answer to my prayers. Loud and clear I heard:
I am good enough.
When I first found out I was pregnant, I immediately made it very clear to Mark that being a Mom would be my priority, at least until the kid(s) were grown. I love my personal training job and also insisted that I keep it, at least part-time, for as long as I could handle it! He wholeheartedly agreed and has been ultra supportive of me “mom-ing it.” So, for the time being, I’m doing my very best to be a great wife and mom while mixing in a little bit of work at the gym along with some play when I can!
To be very honest, I feel a huge load off of my shoulders. I actually feel relieved not to feel the slightest inclination towards a list of goals that I only half-heartedly care about or stress over accomplishing.
I am good enough.
So, the heavy lifting, doubled income stream, eating more superfoods– or whatever else I’ve made goals about in the past– can wait.
I’m really, really excited to be focusing on being a great mom to Hudson. Mark is also in the midst of doing some amazing, incredible things in his life so I could not be happier than to stand by his side, support him, and help him flourish!
Really, it’s not that there aren’t things I want to improve upon, but I don’t always want to feel like I need to do, be, and make more. God wants me to feel sufficient in the way that I am!
I. AM. GOOD. ENOUGH.
P.S. If it’s right for you, I still wholeheartedly support YOU making goals! I am always happy to help or being an accountability partner or simply an ear to listen! 🙂